rorkesdriftvc.com :: View topic - A Skit on Isandlwana --- The Blame.

Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 9:49 am

STAGE FICTION PLAY:ACT 1.
Curtains open to find Chelmsford, his Assisstant Military Secretary John North Crealock, together with Colonel Glyn's Principal Staff Officer, Major Francis Clery, sitting around an improvised table in seclusion and privacy at Rorke's Drift, midday 23 January 1879. An atmosphere of deep gloom prevails.

Chelmsford: " I am deeply concerned to find reports filtering in, that the troops were deployed well forward at Sandula. Some indeed, far out and cut to pieces. I cannot, gentlemen, but think that I should hold myself responsible for not issuing detailed and specific orders to Colonel Pulleine. Never really never entered my mind; no Zulus to be seen for miles around dammit."

CLERY: " But, Sir, I knew how busy you were prior to leaving the camp, so I have to confess that I took it upon myself to issue written instructions to Colonel Pulleine, on your behalf of course, telling him that in any event he was to contract his posts and videttes and act on the defensive. Can't be too cautious now then, can we Sir?"

Chelmsford: " But how on earth, Clery, did you find the time? You were far too busy organising the departure to think of such a detail, and did you keep a copy of the note sent?"

CLERY: Sir, the manual on my book on tactics that I wrote in never far from my thoughts.I realised the significance of such instructions and should have asked your permission. Forgive me, Sir, for not consulting you. I also regret that in my hurry, I scribbled the note on a loose piece of paper and regrettably a copy does not exist, with the original now lost."

CREALOCK: ( Guffaws silently.) "And contrary to your instructions, Sir, I took the liberty of adding to the note that I sent to Colonel Durnford, specific instructions that, on arrival, he must take command of the camp. I have checked, Sir, and he is senior to Colonel Pulleine. It follows that Colonel Durnford would not only have have been handed Major Clery's written instructions issued to Colonel Pulleine, I beg your parden Sir, YOUR instructions, but he would undoubtedly have also assumed command in accordance with my, er, your instructions also."

CLERY: " What on earth was Durnford doing sending the companies to the extremes, only he can answer, but not any more I fear." ( general laughter.)

Chelmsford: "I cannot tell you what a relief it is for me to hear this. As I understand from what both of you have told me, Colonel Durnford appears to have disobeyed the orders you Clery, er, rather I, have issued to him regarding the defence of the camp. Colonel Durnford then took command of the camp in accordance, Crealock, with your-er-my instructions and thereafter displayed total ignorance of basic military warfare. Would this be a fair summary, gentlemen?"

CREALOCK and CLERY. ( In unison) "By jove you've got it Sir, by jove you've got it."

( Atmosphere eases and gloom lifts.)

CREALOCK: " And what's more, Sir, Colonel Durnford does not enjoy the best of popularity. He's not one of us. He's a damned Engineer. Muddling in politics too with that infernal Colenso and, I hear on good authority, meddling with his daughter whilst still married, quite disgraceful."

CLERY: (Guffawing loudly) "That's right Sir, he's not one of us and, to boot, he's more or less regarded as a colonial, having been in the wretched country for five or six years I believe."

Chelmsford: "And what about the actions of Colonel Pulleine?"

CREALOCK and CLERY:(In unison.) " He's one of us, Sir, he's one of us!"

Chelmsford:" Quite quite gentlemen, that's settled then; looks game set and match. Colonel Durnford must be held responsible for the debacle, go about your business, gentlemen, and Clery, see if you can rummage around for a decent bottle of Champagne amongst all this rubble."

(Curtain close to thunderous applause from the anti-Durnford lobby.)

STAGE REALITY PLAY: ACT 2.

Read ZV1 Chapter 8.

Curtains close to thunderous applause from pro-Durnford lobby.

(Tongue in cheek, and apologies to MS.)

Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 10:45 am

Peter

Excellent! Perhaps Coll can put it in his screen play? Wink

Dawn

Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 10:53 am

Peter

Clearly you are a strong contender to write the follow up to the Da Vinci Code in which history, fiction and misrepresentation are all inextricably intertwined.

I suggest you also watch the movie Conspiracy Theory with Mel Gibson. You'll like it.

Where precisely is that sort of contribution meant to get us?! I fear you are dragging people back into the Dark Ages.

These men made mistakes. They were embarrassed by failure. But they were not the utterly disreputable fictitious characters you have created.

Now I really am dismayed. Sad

M

Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 12:32 pm

Mike,
The heading is titled a "Skit," definition thereof being " a brief satirical sketch." Please also read my last sentence. It was common cause that Crealock was most certainy regarded as a scoundrel by one and all. 'Misleading dipatches' et al.
Our views on Clery differ and the object was merely to implicate him in what I believe was a deliberate effort to point the finger on Durnford. Nothing new here and certainly not fictional or Da Vinci code stuff. Merely repeating what ZV1 has always maintained, with supporting evidence, but using light-hearted satire.
If I have transgressed it's towards Chelmsford, as I'm sure he was an unsuspecting spectator.
Extra couple of drinks this side if you lightnen up a tad.
Peter