Light Relief again! |
Haydn Jones
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OK. I'll be first up to have a go although be warned, you probably need to be of a certain age for this one;
Cetshwayo: "Knock! Knock" Chelmsford: "Who's there?" Cetshwayo: "Ondini" Chelmsford: "Ondini who?" Cetshwayo (singing): "Ondi neath the arches......" Sorry folks, not at all intellectual I know. I'll go away and lie down for a while. H |
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Coll
Guest
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Cetshwayo - Hmm....I thought you'd be taller.
Chelmsford- I am....but the weight of me medals is making me sink in the mud. |
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Haydn Jones
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Cetshwayo: "Oh!.......that ultimatum"
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Haydn Jones
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Cetshwayo: "I have an audience with the Great White Queen at Osborne House"
Chelmsford: "Osborne House?! Blimey -that takes the biscuit!" |
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GlennWade
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Cetshwayo: Your Commander, that Chelmsford, what an idiot! Dividing his forces in enemy territory, Isandlwana, it was like he wanted to be defeated! We made up this rude song about him, wanna hear it?
Chelmsford: Do you even know who I am? |
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Alekudemus
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Cetshwayo This Adkins diet isn't working...just look at me!
Chelmsford Are you using the usual Muti or the low cal "Drummer Boy" brand ? |
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Coll
Guest
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Cetshwayo - I do wish you British would stop using my hair to store your quills.
Chelmsford - Sorry old boy, but being a darts player, I just have to shout ....180 !!!!! |
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Tom516
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Doesn't Chelmsford look a wee bit like Sir Perceval in Monty Python And The Holy Grail... and Cetshwayo looks like Terry Jones dressed as the killer bunny...
Chelmsford: I'd like to launch an invasion please... Cetshwayo: No you won't Chelmsford: Yes I will Cetshwayo: No you won't Chelmsford: Yes I will Cetshwayo: No you won't Chelmsford: Yes I will and if you don't agree to the ultimatum I will. Cetshwayo: I can't do that! Chelmsford: Yes you can. Cetshwayo: No I can't. Chelmsford: Yes you can. Cetshwayo: No I can't. Chelmsford: Yes you can. Cetshwayo: No I can't, but I can send you some cattle as appeasement. That should be enough to prevent this horrible war... Chelmsford: No it isn't Cetshwayo: Yes it is Chelmsford: No it isn't Cetshwayo: Yes it is Chelmsford: No it isn't! Oh this is futile. (Opens door) Chelmsford: I'd like to register a complaint! Cetshwayo: (appearing behind door with assegai): uSUUUUUTHHUUU!! Chelmsford: Waitwaitwaitwaitwait I'd like to register a complaint! Cetshwayo: Oh I'm sorry! That's next door. This is Getting Disembowelled lessons. |
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_________________ Tom "Harlechman" Zulu Total War Team, a Rome TW: BI mod. |
a.j
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Cetshwayo - Fancy a game of billiards Frederic?
Chelmsford - Yes OK but my heart isn't what it used to be Cetshwayo - (psycastically) Oh dear what a shame Chelmsford - But afterwards you have to promise to enrol in Celebrity Fit Club! |
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jck
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Chelmsford. "You keep the Witts and we will retreat".
Cetshwayo. "No you keep the Witts and we will retreat". Chelmsford. "You leave no alternative, this means WAR". |
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Light Relief. |
tony.ashford.@ntlworld,co
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Cetshwayo: This was all your fault.
Chelmsford: No it wasn't. Cetshwayo: Oh yes it was. Chelmsford: NO IT WAS NOT.........it was Durnford's. |
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GlennWade
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Chelmsford: You managed to defeat the Napoleonic dynasty in one bloody skirmish!
Cetshwayo: I know, took you lot the best part of 15 years |
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Peter Quantrill
Guest
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Cetshwayo: Swop you the Prince Imperial's sword for Crealock.
Chelmsford: Done! |
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Rich
Guest
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Cetsh and Chelmsford in a smoking room chatting on what they'll be doing after the war:
Cetsh: Ah Thes...that visit to London looks pretty good nowadays. Looking forward to some r&r. And you? Chelms: Got the transport in me Cetsh..got the transport.... thinking on setting up "Chelmsford Expressladen Wagon Services" back home...London TO LIVERPOOL 1 HOUR NO STOPPING.....good work for Zulu coachmen Cetsh and if they would even want to fight a battle.......??.... |
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Light Relief again! |
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